I am a mean person. I tell people this and they say gasp and say, "No way! You? I don't believe it." I tell them they should see me at work. I don't think people at work would gasp and deny my meanness.
Why am I mean at work? Well, I get overwhelmed. I don't think work is necessarily overwhelming but the 596 other things I have going on outside of work can be overwhelming. But at work, I have 200 students who I advise asking me questions. Hence, I get mean. By mean, I mean to say that I do not follow the golden rule and treat people as I want to be treated. Instead, I treat people as though they are annoying me and have clearly invaded the Amalie zone of space and time. They are intruders and I attack.
Jesus keeps me from being mean. My current levels of meanness are directly related to amount of time spent with God. I actually used to be a really really mean person. Super mean. Ask my parents. They will attest to how mean I was at the age of 19. Good thing I met Jesus when I was 20 or else I might now be currently on Judge Judy for yelling at police officers (something I did before the age of 20). I have softened with time and with God.
I apologize to all my co-workers and students whom I advise for my behavior over the last few weeks. These poor innocents have had to bear the Amalie who does not get alone with God. Like I said, she is a mean person.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Turning 29
"It's the first anniversary of your 29th birthday." "Last year of your 20s!" "Oh man, how does it feel?" "Wow, that's scary!" "We are getting so old!"
Those are the usual aphorisms I have heard over the past few weeks as I announced my 29th birthday. I think this fear of growing older is a bit trite. Why are we afraid of aging past 29? Do we actually fear aging past our 20s or is it a cultural thing to say like "Nice weather today"? Granted, about a week after my 26th birthday, I noticed my first wrinkle and have been applying eye creams like crazy ever since. Still, I will take the age of 29 over the eternal youth of 25 any day.
I believe I owe the contentedness of getting older to a few things. First, God. I believe wholeheartedly 100 percent not a doubt in my mind in eternal life through Jesus. Thus, I don't fear death. Thus, getting older is not getting closer to death. Second, my mom and my grandmother. They both celebrate getting older with good health and good looks and much joy and happiness. And they are both much wiser than me. Based on their experience, I figure I have a lot to look forward to. Third, relationships are so much easier as you get older. The devastation of hurt relationships when I was younger is nothing I want to return to. Felt like life was over sometimes. Now, I can just acknowledge something for what it is and keep moving forward.
Simply put--life is just easier at 29 than it was at 26. I have had 3 more years to learn how to confront challenges and problems, 3 more years to learn how to find more things humorous, 3 more years to learn how to be a better friend, and 3 more years to learn how to keep learning. I did have different expectations of how I would feel at 29. Like I would have it all together and not have my mom texting me to remind me to do my taxes. That I would know how to cook a meal for more than one person. That I would be married. But none of these things have happened. According to the average life span (plus 10 for exercise and healthy life habits), I have 57 more years for all of these things to happen. Right now, I am going to enjoy all that 29 has to offer.
Those are the usual aphorisms I have heard over the past few weeks as I announced my 29th birthday. I think this fear of growing older is a bit trite. Why are we afraid of aging past 29? Do we actually fear aging past our 20s or is it a cultural thing to say like "Nice weather today"? Granted, about a week after my 26th birthday, I noticed my first wrinkle and have been applying eye creams like crazy ever since. Still, I will take the age of 29 over the eternal youth of 25 any day.
I believe I owe the contentedness of getting older to a few things. First, God. I believe wholeheartedly 100 percent not a doubt in my mind in eternal life through Jesus. Thus, I don't fear death. Thus, getting older is not getting closer to death. Second, my mom and my grandmother. They both celebrate getting older with good health and good looks and much joy and happiness. And they are both much wiser than me. Based on their experience, I figure I have a lot to look forward to. Third, relationships are so much easier as you get older. The devastation of hurt relationships when I was younger is nothing I want to return to. Felt like life was over sometimes. Now, I can just acknowledge something for what it is and keep moving forward.
Simply put--life is just easier at 29 than it was at 26. I have had 3 more years to learn how to confront challenges and problems, 3 more years to learn how to find more things humorous, 3 more years to learn how to be a better friend, and 3 more years to learn how to keep learning. I did have different expectations of how I would feel at 29. Like I would have it all together and not have my mom texting me to remind me to do my taxes. That I would know how to cook a meal for more than one person. That I would be married. But none of these things have happened. According to the average life span (plus 10 for exercise and healthy life habits), I have 57 more years for all of these things to happen. Right now, I am going to enjoy all that 29 has to offer.
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